CHAPTER FIFTY

Doubts and Disappointments

Frederick Lawrence soon left for Grassdale to attend Mr Huntingdon's funeral. I still loved Helen, but promised to wait another ten weeks before I would write to her; it still had not been six months since I last spoke to her. There is quite a difference between Mrs Huntingdon, the lady of Grassdale Manor, and Mrs Graham the artist, the tenant of Wildfell Hall. Perhaps she no longer was in love with me.

Mr Lawrence returned ten or twelve days later, and did not write to me while he was away. I waited impatiently for him to return, to find out how my dear Helen was. And when he did return, he only told me that she was tired after caring for her ill husband for so many months. I greatly feared that my dear Helen had forgotten me. But what should I do? I would wait for another ten weeks, then write to her.

Soon after the death of her husband, her aunt requested that she go to Staningley, as her uncle was rather ill. Her uncle died a short time after her arrival. She planned to stay there for some time to comfort her dear aunt; Lawrence did not know when she would return to Grassdale.

The next time, in early June, I saw Lawrence, he came for a visit, quite unusual, as I was usually the one to visit him. He informed me that he was soon leaving for Grassdale to visit his sister.

"To Grassdale! Is she there, then?" I asked in surprise.

"Yes, but in a day or two, she and I will leave with her aunt to vacation at the seaside."

Lawrence seemed to expect me to ask him to give her a message for me, but I said nothing. After he left, however, I regretted my decision. Now it was too late.

He did not return till the end of August. He wrote to me two or three times while he was gone, but said little about my dear Helen. I decided I would write to her after her return to Grassdale, where she would be alone.

In one of his letters, he mentioned Lord and Lady Lowborough, who have recently divorced. Lady Lowborough ran away with another man; her husband was quite angry, and finally decided to obtain a divorce. No one has heard from Lady Lowborough since she left, but Lord Lowborough fell in love with another woman, quite plain and older. Others said he was a fool for marrying such an ordinary woman, with little wealth. He refused to listen to others. He was in love with her, as she was with him. She became an excellent mother to their children. They have been married happily since.

Grimsby, however, continued his terrible habits of drinking and going wild in London. One night, he died after fighting with one of his drinking friends.

Mr Hattersley was quite frightened after seeing his friend, Huntingdon, die, and was determined to be a better husband and father. He lives in the country with his wife and many children. Mrs Hattersley is quite content with her gentleman husband and their children.

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